Take notice subordinates. Your Supreme Leader speaks!
I going to let you in on my plan. I been making my scientists work on super amazing cocktail to blow Twump off shelves! Soon Chubby Wrong’un be best e-liquid in world!
My flavours are so advanced, I purge my scientists so they never reveal secrets to anyone.
Prepare for taste explosion! BOOM! HA! Your Great Leader brings you the first of my state sanctioned e-liquids. A nuclear fusion of strawberries and cream, sprinkled with hint of sugar to light up your horizon. A beautifully smooth and relaxing sweet berry vape, so juicy, you can lie back in comfort as the night sky burns. My clouds are bigger than yours.
The second of my state approved e-liquid flavours, Bubblegum Dictator is sticky, sweet and ultimately satisfying. Few people know I invented bubblegum. My scientists are working on new flavours every day. But they need my direction. The DPRK is a haven of piece and compliance where everyone lives in harmony… if they do as they’re told. So you will like it. You WILL.
While I was privately educated in Switzerland, I would stroll along the Straße with a bag of my favourite sweets. The regal Blackjack. My walks in the Swiss sun would often be interrupted by some the other pupils teasing and throwing insults as I go by. The Blackjack became my companion during this dark time, so I bring it to you as the third of my state sanctioned e-liquid flavour! Those girls may have been younger than me but their mean taunts gave me ideas on how to run my country… DPRK will dance when I bring my revenge.
INCOMING! I just kidding. I have great sense of humour – the best in DPRK… I invented comedy. Zesty lemons with a lightly carbonated exhale, my fourth state sanctioned e-liquid was developed by my faithful scientists to meet my tropical tastes. Many scientists sadly lost their lives during this process, but they got there in the end. Throw one in the air and enjoy the citrus explosion.
My father once said to me ‘Son, nothing relieves the stress of running the world’s best country like a good purge!’ I used to smoke cigar while restructuring my cabinet, but like every good boy, I don’t smoke anymore – It bad for you! So I had my scientists make me a classic creamy tobacco e-liquid! The recipe was so good, I had to purge the scientists… they all gone now. No-one is beyond the reach of my purge. Ask my brother… oh… you can’t! HA! I so funny. Keep smiling and laughing at my jokes.
So, here is my plan. I will be launching my e liquids very soon so be ready… I want no report that you been buying orange moron Twump-it e liquid instead or you go on purger list.